Should Christians date non-Christians?

 I regularly read through Yahoo! Answers. I found one very intriguing question. A young woman was dating a member of the Church of Christ. He informed her that his parents did not approve. The reason he gave her was the Church of Christ does not believe in dating non-Christians. As a 36 year old, who is on my second marriage, this question hit home for me. You can view the full question at https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080408084244AAoOxnD. But, our personal feelings does not matter. What does the Bible say? Should Christians date non-Christians?

 

Everything God tells us has a purpose. God does not give us guidance just to see if we will do it. He wants us to cultivate Godly qualities. Jeremiah 29:11 states, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” For instance, why does the Bible tells us to give money to the poor? He tells us this to make givers out of us. It is to prevent us from being selfish. God created woman to be a helpmate for man (Genesis 2:18-24). If we want to understand why God tells us something then we must examine the purpose. To that end, what is the purpose of dating?

It is to find ourselves a suitable mate. Dating allows us to find that one person to spend our lives with. A man is meant to find one woman. A woman is meant to find one man. Genesis 2:24 states, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Marriage is not just a test of wills. God does not simply want to see if we can “make it”. If we choose wisely then our wives possess the qualities that we don’t. Together, we make a great team. Through this union, it is easier for both the man and the woman to fulfill God’s purpose for them. It is not simply to find a sex partner. When dating, what qualities are we told to look for in a potential mate?

·        Good judgement is at the top of the list. 1 Corinthians 15:33  Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals." Every person we meet has an affect on us. We may not even see the affect happening. The more time you spend with someone the more affect they have on you. Even secular authors recognize this. Anthony Robbins lists good mentors as essential to success (Awaken the Giant Within). Faithfully living for God requires many Godly advisors. Proverbs 15:22 states, “Without consultation, plans are frustrated, But with many counselors they succeed.”

·        They need to fear the Lord. It is easy for someone to deceive us for a time. Many people get married only to find out the person is not what they thought. People can be very charming. However, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30). While the word woman is used here, it also applies to a man. For example, if you were to date an atheist then what do they call morality? Does it agree with your thoughts about morality? Why start a relationship with such a wide gap? If your potential mate fears the lord then you are starting with common ground.

·        They should ask questions? Think back to your child hood or to your own children. How many times was the word “why” said? Children ask this question a lot. They don’t do it to simply frustrate their parents. They are trying to learn. They want to know more about the world around them. This is a very healthy trait. God even encourages us to keep learning. James 1:5 states, “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” For anyone, Christian or not, to grow then we must be willing to continual learn.

·        They should possess self-control. Self-control is necessary throughout life. There will be many tough choices to be made. We may find ourselves with an unpleasant job. We may find ourselves with an unpleasant boss. We may face a lay off, loss of a home, or many other possible setbacks. Successfully recovering requires self-control. We cannot give up every time something is hard. 1Corinthians 6:18 states, “Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.”

These are just a few qualities that a Christian should look for. Let us look at each of these qualities. Is it possible to find them in someone who is not a Christian?

Can good judgement be found in someone who is not a Christian? Bible even talks about people who find Godly principles by themselves.

Is it possible to fear the Lord and not be a Christian? Pages have been  written about definition of, importance of, and need for fear of God. One such article can be found at http://www.christianitytoday.com/biblestudies/bible-answers/spirituallife/what-does-it-mean-to-fear-god.html. To put it in simple terms to fear God means to understand his power and the importance of following him. Anyone who fears God will want to do his will. They not only will want the blessings that God provides but want to stay away from the consequences. There is only one way I see it being possible to fear God and not be a Christian. This would be a person who is new to learning about God. They know just enough to realize that he exists and expects something of them. Unless something kills this early fear then they will most likely become a Christian.

It is possible to find someone willing to ask questions who is not a Christian. There are many people in the world hungry for knowledge. Within this group, there is a large number that are asking questions about God. A Christian can help this type of person by simply being able to answer questions. However, a Christian can also kill these questions by giving incomplete or even no answers at all. There is much debate whether or not this type of person is suitable for a Christian to date.

Self-control is a much different issue for a non-Christian. Human behavior is driven by one of two things; pain or pleasure. We are driven to avoid pain and toward pleasure. God provides a moral compass that controls these impulses. Even some things that may be pleasurable are not lawful. Modern society has taken this to new heights. The “if it feels good then do it” crowd are larger than ever. How hard would it be for a Christian to date one of these people and not be affected? It would be very easy for them to pull the Christian away.

I am not going to give you a direct “Yes” or “No” to the dating question. There are a couple Bible verses that directly answer the question. However, it is more important to understand why we should do something. God gives us requirements to help us. It is not just some checklist that we must endure. I ask you to consider the traits that I have listed. Can you find these in a non-Christian? If so then what happens when you decide to get married? What will your children be taught? Will you be able to live faithfully and still have a successful marriage? I hope these questions help you to make your final determination. After all, our ultimate goal is to serve God to the best of our ability.

 

 

Are Gay Relationships and Christianity Incompatible?

Tonight, I was looking through Yahoo Answers! One question caught my eye. A homosexual gentleman, judging from the wording, was asking about homosexuality. See the full question at https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20140713153520AAObdnG. So, "Are Gay Relationships and Christianity Incompatible?"

He asks if gay relationships and "Christianity" are incompatible. What is Christianity? Is it a thing that is decided by man? Does it change from time to time? Is it up to the whim of the "times"? Webster's Dictionary defines Christianity as, "religion that follows Jesus Christ's teachings: the religion based on the life, teachings, and example of Jesus Christ". What he is really asking is, "Would Jesus Christ bless a homosexual relationship?"

Where do you go to find out what Jesus Christ taught? This seems like a simple question. Yet, I see this as the place where most "Christians" begin to lose their way. Jesus Christ has not lived on earth for over 2000 years. Yet, he has not left us alone. We were left with his teachings. All we need to do is listen to the Bible. But, we must have a heart that is willing to accept its authority and what it says.
Answering the question at hand begins with, "What is the purpose of sex?" From the beginning, sex was for the purpose of procreation. Genesis 1:27-28, "And God created man in His image; in the image of God He created him. He created them male and female. 28  And God blessed them. And God said to them, Be fruitful, and multiply and fill the earth, and subdue it. And have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the heavens, and all animals that move upon the earth."

Throughout history, homosexuality is born out of distorting the purpose of sex. This can be seen in the Assyrians, Greeks, Romans, and in modern society. Consider my case study, “Homosexuality’s role in the downfall of the Roman Empire”. As societies advances then their citizens gain more free time. They search for new forms of entertainment. Sex moves from being a beautiful thing between a husband a wife to being a playground. Deviations start to appear such as bloodletting, golden showers, putting feces on each other, etc.

God warned us about this cycle. Romans 1:26-27, “26  For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, 27  and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error. Bible’s position on homosexuality is quite clear.

Can you be a Christian while God turns his back on you? If you choose to live a homosexual lifestyle then God will let you do that. But, just as the above verses show, God will turn you over to your “degrading passions”. This would be equal to us “disowning” one of our children today. They are still our child. We still love them. However, while they are engaging in evil behavior, we cannot help them.

Romans chapter 1 addresses “Christians” who claim to be homosexual. Romans 1:32 states, “They know that God's law says that people who live in this way deserve death. Yet, not only do they continue to do these very things, but they even approve of others who do them.” This verse also applies to “Christians” who are not homosexual but approve those who are. Faithful Christians are called to live by God’s natural law. Anything separate from that is sin.

It is impossible to live by God’s law and fleshly lusts at the same time. Jesus himself warned us of this. Matthew 6:24 states, “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.” Here God was speaking of money. But, it applies to any form of sin. We cannot be slave to sin while stating to be children of God.

There are many reasons that Christianity and homosexuality are not compatible. As Christians, we are called to put away fleshly lusts. Homosexuality is not only listed as unnatural but also as a fleshly lust. Through Romans, God tells us that he will “give them over” to degrading passions. Why would you proclaim to follow a God while continually doing things that he hates? It is quite clear that being a Christian follows one path and being homosexual follows another. It is impossible to be a faithful Christian and a homosexual.

Bible Verses About Anger

Anger is a natural human emotion. Christians are not immune to anger. However, the key is how we handle this anger. Whether we let it control us or we control it. Uncontrolled anger can be one of the most destructive forces on Earth. It can lead countries to go to war. It can lead brother to kill brother. It can lead to actions, in a moment, that take a lifetime to deal with. When you are struggling with anger, consider these bible verses on anger. The Bible provides great help in dealing with our anger.

Psa 37:8  “Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret yourself to do evil. 9  For evildoers shall be cut off; but those who wait on Jehovah, they shall inherit the earth.” 

Pro 14:16 “A wise one fears and departs from evil, but the fool rages and is sure. 17  He who is soon angry acts foolishly, and a man of wicked plots is hated.” 

Pro 14:29  “He who is slow to wrath is of great understanding, but he who is hasty of spirit exalts folly.” 

Pro 15:1  "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." 

Pro 15:18 "A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife." 

Pro 16:32 "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit is better than he who takes a city."

Pro 19:11 "The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression."

Pro 22:24 "Make no friendship with an angry man; and you shall not go up with a man of fury,"

Pro 29:11 "A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards."

Pro 29:22  "An angry man stirs up fighting, and a furious man abounds in sin."

Pro 30:33 "Surely the churning of milk brings forth butter, and the wringing of the nose brings forth blood; so the forcing of wrath brings forth fighting."

Ecc 7:9 "Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools."

Mat 5:22 "But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be liable to the judgment. And whoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be liable to the sanhedrin; but whoever shall say, Fool! shall be liable to be thrown into the fire of hell."

Gal 5:19-25  “Now the works of the flesh are clearly revealed, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lustfulness, 20  idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, fightings, jealousies, angers, rivalries, divisions, heresies, 21  envyings, murders, drunkennesses, revelings, and things like these; of which I tell you before, as I also said before, that they who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. 22  But the fruit of the Spirit is: love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, 23  meekness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24  But those belonging to Christ have crucified the flesh with its passions and lusts. 25  If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.”

Eph 4:26-32 “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: 27 Neither give place to the devil. 28  Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. 29  Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. 30  And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. 31  Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32  And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”

Col 3:8 "But now also put off all these things: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, shameful speech out of your mouth."

Col 3:12 “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender feelings of mercy, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering, 13  forbearing one another and forgiving yourselves, if anyone has a complaint against any. As Christ forgave you, so also you do.”

Jas 1:19-20 “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: 20  For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.”

Jas 4:1-2 “From where do wars and fightings among you come? Is it not from this, from your lusts which war in your members? 2  You desire, and do not have. You murder, and are jealous, and cannot obtain. You fight and war, yet you have not because you ask not.”

There are many lessons to be learned from these Bible verses about anger. Anger clouds our judgment. It causes us to act without thinking. In these moments, we can tear down years of Christian living. We can destroy our families, our careers, even our relationship with God. We must strive daily to control our anger. As these Bible verses have shown us, we are not alone. God is there with us. If we choose to lean on him then he will provide the strength we need.

Other Christian Articles About Anger

Can A Christian Be Angry and Not Sin? 

53 Bible Verses About Anger Management

3 Criteria of Righteous Anger 

What God Says About Anger inthe Bible 

Bible Verse of the Day: Psalms 1:1-6

Psalms 1:1-6, “How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit in the seat of scoffers! 2  But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night. 3  He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season And its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers. 4  The wicked are not so, But they are like chaff which the wind drives away. 5  Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, Nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. 6  For the LORD knows the way of the righteous, But the way of the wicked will perish.” (NASB)

Yesterdays Bible Verse of the Day was Isaiah 66:12-14. In those verses, God described how much comfort he brings to his servants. Today’s Bible Verse of the Day provides a roadmap for achieving “servant” status.

We should not walk in the counsel of the wicked. As Christians, we still have to live in the world. We cannot take ourselves completely out of it. We have to still shop, work, and be around “wicked” people. But, how do we avoid being in their counsel? Counsel is defined as, “advice, esp. that given formally.” So while we are around them, we should not accept the advice of those who are not servants of God.

Notice I make a distinction between “Christians” and “servants of God”. There are many that claim the name of “Christian”. Yet, they do not follow the will of God. Some do not even know what the will of God is. Their biblical knowledge is limited to what their preacher says on Sunday. Their advice may or may not be based in true biblical knowledge. We must seek the counsel of true servants of God. Those who seek out what the will of God is and daily apply it to their lives.

“Nor stand in the path of sinners…” As we go through life, we each leave our own path. It is the road that we have walked through life. If someone follows us down that path then they will end at the same destination. God warns us about following the correct path. We must look at whose path we are following. Where will the path we are following lead us?

“Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!” Scoffer is defined as, “To show or express derision or scorn.” God warns us about being in the company of those who cause derision. Those who would willing separate us from God. If someone finds delight in challenging God and/or his followers then we should avoid them.

We must be careful to apply the distinction here. There is a great difference between asking questions and challenging God. Someone who simply is seeking answers should be cultivated. We should do our best to steer them towards God. However, if their questions are simply meant to challenge our faith then they should be avoided. The difference is their intent. This can take some time to figure out. Be careful to identify what their true motives are.

“He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, …” What a picture God paints here. If we follow the plan that he has laid out for us then we will be like a firmly planted tree. We will not worry about whether or not we will continue in God’s way. Our roots will be planted deep enough that we cannot be moved. No matter what the circumstances, we will stay the course.

“Which yields its fruit in its season And its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers.” God continues the picture of a true servant’s journey. We will yield fruit for God. If we supply the faith, study time, and constant following of God’s path then he will supply the opportunities for growth. As long as we are following the path of God then we will prosper in whatever we do.

Bible Verse of The Day: Isaiah 66:12-14

Isa 66:12-14, “For thus says the LORD, "Behold, I extend peace to her like a river, And the glory of the nations like an overflowing stream; And you will be nursed, you will be carried on the hip and fondled on the knees. 13  "As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; And you will be comforted in Jerusalem." 14  Then you will see this, and your heart will be glad, And your bones will flourish like the new grass; And the hand of the LORD will be made known to His servants, But He will be indignant toward His enemies.” (NASB)

Through Isaiah, God states he, “extends peace to her like a river”.  A river flows through an area without concern for where it is going. As long as there are no barriers, the water just continues to flow. Eventually, it will cover the whole area. Everything it flows over will be nurtured by the river. Everything around the river will be nurtured. The whole area will receive the benefits that the river’s water brings.

Next, God describes what will happen to the nation of Israel. “…Glory of the nations like an overflowing stream…” Any nation that follows God’s will enjoys the same peace as the individual. This nation will enjoy inner peace. While following the will of God, their endeavors will be blessed. God will be with this nation. Even though God is directing this to the nation of Israel, it applies to any nation that follows God’s will.

Verse 13 compares God to a mother comforting her child. Consider how a mother comforts her child? Her presence provides the child comfort. The child knows that his mother will do everything to protect him. The child’s mother will provide for his needs. Everything that the mother has is at the child’s disposal. If someone threatens the child then the mother will bring all of her resources to bear on the child’s enemies. God is telling us that he will do all these things for us and more.

These promises from God should bring us great comfort. Consider that the creator of the entire universe is promising to use his power to help you. These words should cause several changes within us. It should bring us inner peace. How much greater of an ally could we have then God? It should cause a desire to please him. It should motivate us to cultivate the traits and attitude that will create a God fearing life.

Finally, God explains who will enjoy these benefits. These benefits will be open to God’s servants. Consider what a servant was at this time. If you had a servant then the servant did whatever you needed them to do. It did not matter what you asked. It did not matter how long the task took. It was the servant’s duty to do your will. Consider Abraham’s servant. Sara even asked her to have Abraham’s baby. She did that without any hesitation.

We must treat God in the same manner. We cannot be flippant with our attitude towards God. We cannot be a Sunday only Christian. Our walk with God must continue throughout the week. It must be an everyday event. We must actively search out God’s will for our lives. Once we know what he wants for us then we must apply it. We must create such a habit in ourselves that we follow God’s will without hesitation.

As with any other blessing, God warns us about not following his will. “But He will be indignant toward His enemies.” Indignant is not a passive word. It does not mean that God will just look the other way at his enemies. Indignant means, “feeling or showing anger or annoyance at what is perceived as unfair treatment.” God has just described the level of benefits that his servant’s enjoy. Consider now the opposite. If God can bring so many benefits then how much destruction can he bring? If we are seen as God’s enemy then he will show anger or annoyance at us. Paints quite a picture doesn’t it. Which side of this coin do you want to be on?

Bible Verse For Today: Isaiah 42:16

Bible Verse For Today: Isaiah 42:16  "I will lead the blind by a way they do not know, In paths they do not know I will guide them. I will make darkness into light before them And rugged places into plains. These are the things I will do, And I will not leave them undone."

Have you ever been walking in a dark room and stub your toe? When that pain shoots up your leg, you realize the value of a light. If only you had turned the light on then your toe wouldn't be yelling at you right now? You react by quickly locating the nearest light switch. You don't want to make that same mistake twice. Our lives are no different.We have two choices in life. 

We can spend our lives finding our own way in the dark. This results in many "stubbed toes". We spend our lives bouncing from one stubbed toe to another. We continue to lean upon our own understanding of life. We think that we can make our own successful plan. No matter how dark our circumstances get. This doesn't seem like a very good plan does it?

Through Isaiah, God is providing us another way. He tells us that we are not alone in this world. God knows that we have no idea what is ahead of us. We are like the blind. We do not know the path ahead of us any better then a blind person in a new building. However, we are never alone. God promises to guide us through "a way they do not know". No matter what we are facing, if we trust God then he will guide us through it.

God also promises, no matter what the obstacle, he will provide us a way out. Through Isaiah God tells us, "I will make darkness into light before them and rugged places in to plains." God is not promising that we will not have difficulties. However, if we trust him then he will always provide a solution to our problems. We just have to trust that God can and will provide a way out. We also have to realize that God's way out may not always be the way we would choose.

What problem have you been having? What situation in your life is causing you "stubbed toes"? Have you turned the light of God onto the situation? If not then why not? Isn't it time to take the problem to God in prayer? If you completely trust that God will help you then he will. Just be open to the way out that God provides. It may not be the solution you were looking for. But, trust God and the path will become clear in front of you.

Bible Verse of the Day: Matthew 6:25-34

Anxiety is a huge problem in the United States. Pharmeceutical companies earn billions each year by selling us anti-depressants or other anxiety medications. Regularly we hear about someone who has committed suicide. We even see suicides among our younger children. Today's Bible Verse of the Day will shed some light on anxiety.

Matthew 6:25-34, "For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26  "Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? 27  "And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? 28  "And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, 29  yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. 30  "But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! 31  "Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?' 32  "For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33  "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34  "So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (New American Standard Bible)

Jesus is telling us here that we should not worry at all. If we have the proper faith then we should realize God created us all. If God created us all then isn't he capable of taking care of us? Jesus specifically tells us not to worry about what we will wear or eat. This takes faith. Not the type of faith that comes from simply sitting in church, listening to the sermon, singing some songs, and getting a "good feeling". This requires the type of faith that comes from studying God's word. From realizing that God is capable of keeping his promises to us and will do so for his children. hopefully this verse will help you curb your anxiety.